It's a god-awful small affair            [Verse]

To the girl with the mousy hair      C#  Fm G#m Bb7

But her mummy is yelling no          D#m F# G#7 G#7

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream  [Pre-

To the seat with the clearest view       Chorus]

And she's hooked to the silver screen    E  E

                                         C#m  D

But the film is a saddening bore         A  C#7

(For she's lived it ten times or more    F#m A7

 She could spit in the eyes of fools)

As (they ask her) to focus on           [Chorus]

                                   (F#  B

Sailors fighting in the dance hall  D#m7 Bm

Oh, man, look at those cavemen go   C#   C#m

It's the freakiest show             G#m7 Bm7 x2)

Take a look at the                  D#m7 D

Lawman beating up the wrong guy     F#  G#

Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show           [Instru]

Is there life on Maaaaars          C#  Bb7 D#m   C7

                                   Fm F# F#m7 X

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow ╔═════════╗

Now the workers have struck for fame ║ Life on ║

'Cause Lennon's on sale again        ║  Mars?  ║

See the mice in their million hordes ║  David  ║

From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads     ║  Bowie  ║

Rule Britannia is out of bounds      ╚═════════╝

To my mother, my dog and clowns  [Pre-

                                  Chorus]

(Because I wrote it ten times or more     [Cho-

 It's about to be writ again) (I ask you)   rus]